So you want to start using a sex toy?

So you want to start using a sex toy?

Hello beautiful & welcome to our pleasure-filled world of sex toys. Did you know that in 2020 the global sex toy market size was valued at USD 33 billion dollars? That is a hell of a lot of money which means, you are definitely not alone when it comes to using sex toys. 

Chances are you’ve seen it in the movies, it’s popped up all over your social media & you’ve heard amazing stories from your girlfriends. So you’ve decided… it's time to join in on all of the fun! 

Well, you’ve come to the right place baby! Our range of vibrators are the perfect place to start introducing a little bzzt bzzt into your sex life & we know you’ll love them so much that your bedroom will start to sound like a barber shop #sorrynotsorry. 

Wait, I’m scared! 

It’s okay sugar, I was scared too. Believe it or not, there was a time where I wouldn't have dared to even think about masturbating, let alone use a sexy toy! I thought it was dirty, shameful & I fell into the trap of thinking that vibrators would desensitise my clit. All of these beliefs are false. 

First & foremost, self pleasure as a woman is not dirty or shameful. It’s actually a really beautiful way to connect with yourself on an incredibly deep level, get in touch with your amazing body & figure out what you actually like when it comes to sex. Self pleasure also opens up the portal to richer self love, self awareness, self compassion & self appreciation. Your pussy is not something to shy away from, she’s a powerful part of you that should be celebrated! 

Secondly, it is impossible for vibrators to desensitise your clit. I’m not sure where this myth started but it’s stupid. No matter how many times you use a vibrator, the nerve endings in your clit will remain intact & ready for pleasure (aka, you’ll never feel numb). 

It is important to note though, that during self pleasure you change up your routine so your brain doesn't get used to the same path to orgasm otherwise you are blocking yourself off from all of the different ways to reach the Big O. 

You can do this by changing positions, watching porn vs no porn, changing up your fantasies, using a toy vs your hand, introducing different sensations such as lube, ice or oil, focusing on pleasure in different areas such as breasts, vaginal penetration & anal play or a combination, switching locations such as your car, the shower, your bedroom, the office (as long as your boss doesnt catch you) or whatever else comes to mind that feels good for you! 

It’s also important to never have orgasm as the main goal in your mind. Again, this blocks you off from all of the pleasure you receive along the way & it keeps you up in your head instead of in your body. Rather, focus on the pleasure you are experiencing in the current moment & just see where your body takes you. If you hit orgasm - amazing! If you don’t - equally as amazing! You are still opening yourself up to pleasure either way. 

The beauty of masturbation is that you have the opportunity to figure out what it is you love, what really turns you on & what makes you go wild in the bedroom. This then allows you to have even more mind blowing orgamisc experiences when it comes to having sex with a lover - & who doesn’t want that?! 

Where the hell do you even start? 

With so many different toys & so many different recommendations it can be overwhelming to know where to start. I personally recommend beginning with a toy that stimulates the hood of your clit. Simple, effective & Oh. So. Delicious. 

They’re incredibly easy to use & they look the least intimidating which means if you’re still a little #nervypie they are perfect for you! (you can work your way up to toys that stimulate your “g spot” & vagina later). 

If you’re not sure where the hood of your clit is, it sits close to the top of your vulva, inside your lips, about 3cm away from the opening of your vagina. It has over 8000 nerve endings & serves no other purpose than pleasure. While only a small percentage of women can experience oragsms from penetration, almost all women experience it from the hood of their clit. So pretty much, this little baby is your new best friend. 

Using a vibrator purely for the clit not only makes for an incredible self pleasure practice but also works beautifully when you’re with a partner since they can slide their penis or fingers in your vagina while stimulating your clit with the vibrator. Otherwise, you can be stimulating yourself while you’re on top, doing doggy, or whatever sex position works for you. 

My personal recommendation

Coco is an incredible vibrator for clit stimulation! It blows a tiny bit of air onto your clit which feels amazing & has a range of different settings to choose from (seriously… there are so many) meaning you can change the rhythm throughout your practise & see which ones you like best. I also love squirting lube directly onto the hood of my clit to simulate the feelings of oral sex.  

If you’re feeling extra adventurous one day, you can turn this vibrator around & use it for penetration. You can even swap between your clit & penetration to further heighten your experience. Honestly, the options are endless! 

Please always tune in to what feels good for you & your body. What works for your friend, your coworker, what you read in Cosmo or that woman in the porno may not be your flavour. Just like every woman is different, every vulva is different & it’s important to understand what your unique pleasure blueprint is. 

Know that despite anything you may have been told in the past, your sexual desires are okay. In fact, they’re amazing & completely accepted. It’s safe to express your desires, it’s safe to explore your body, it’s safe to open up to pleasure, it’s safe to play into your fantasies, it’s safe to speak up, it’s safe to use your voice, it’s safe to honour yourself. Listen to your body & always follow what feels good for you. 

Using a toy with yourself for the first time? Make sure you are in an environment where you feel safe, where you won't be interrupted & where you can allow yourself to fall deep into feelings of pure bliss & pleasure. 

Using a toy with a lover for the first time? Make sure you feel completely safe with them & you are comfortable enough to use your voice if things ever start to feel unpleasant. 

If you have any more questions please don’t hesitate to reach out! I am always happy to help & no question is off limits. If not, happy masturbation baby! xo

Written by Sophia Calvi 
Listen to Sexy Talk With Sophia the podcast 
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